living my life in paradise.

my 1st official entry since my return from uk.

it has been such a happening week that i dont even have the time to blog. everyday i just seem to love sg more and more. i love the clubbing scene here, the FOOD, my beloved girlfriends, my family and my one and only xiaotou!

everything seems to be perfect here. how? i dont wanna leave again.

sigh 2weeks plus and i have to be at e dreaded airport once more, saying my goodbyes. this time, i know i'll be sadder cos i've experienced uk and how i wish i dont have to be back there again.

but at the same time, at least i've sorta adapted to the life there though i dont really like it.

hmm anyway today, rich just found out sth tt i've been hiding from him. of course, he didnt take the news too well and how can i blame him? im so sorry for puting him thru this emotional turmoil. he's feeling goddamn betrayed and im to blame. yet he forgave me so easily tt made me feel even more guilty. he said he's pissed with someone else, not me. but i know deep down, he's extremely disappointed in me too.

i did not really cheat on him but i lied. a big and terrible lie indeed.

put me in his shoes and i wld never have forgiven him. i would not have believed a single word tt he said there and then. but he still believes me. and i cant be more thankful for that.

i promise to tell him nothing but the absolute truth from now on. what he said is true, i shld leave him with some pride, much more than that actually.

i love him. i lied cos i was afraid to lose him. and u probably wont understand but trust me when i say i cant imagine life without xiaotou, without rich - my man. i just cant.

he's my one and only, my eternity.