tomorrow, will i be who i am today?

2007-07-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

i'm a john doe on a vagabond voyage. yes, it's john. jane i am not.

2007-07-01T14:03:00.000+08:00

so many things to do, so little time. and i'm starting work next week. bah. well, at least zouk on wed!

anyway i realised my blog's pretty dead now. i update like once in a blue moon and even then, i can't really find anyting to blog about. then i just type random thoughts, like now. afterwhich i find myself really incoherent or that my life sounds like a drab affair. so i backspaced and clicked the 'X' at the right corner of the window. and the same routine repeats.

i'm trying not to rerun the same thing today, so now i sound boring. and i'm going to end this post sounding boring.

b.u.s.y

2007-06-27T03:22:00.000+08:00

i need to get well. need to get things settled.

home sweet home.

2007-06-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

i'm back. now what? everything looks different, feels different. but there's this familiar smell in my lentor bedroom, even in the toilet. a smell so strong i cant miss - i name it the smell of reality.

and i dread that R word. realised i've been living in fantasy world for the past 9 months. then the smell reminded me of so many things i've left undone. reality finally hit me, and it doesn't feel right.

bless me as i try to settle the things i've left unsettled for so long. i foresee a disaster, maybe 3.

2007-06-22T12:08:00.000+08:00

just got back my results. no miracles this time round - i screwed up, big time.

anyway i'm leaving leicester in 10hrs time, and will be rching s'pore in one and a half days' time. having mixed feelings now. but well, at least i finally get to see my family members and savour the love of my life - hawker food.

cya soon.

easter trip

2007-05-31T03:55:00.000+08:00

germany (berin & hamburg):

i'm ready to spend

fairytale land in hamburg

my favourite dan-dan mian in hamburg. used up 2 packets of tissue just to finish that.

the infamous charlie checkpoint

animal abuse

puppet show

prague/budapest:

the 4 guys at the fishermen's bastion

impressive photography skills, roy.

old times

nice architecture at night

ghost tour

ghost tour 2

ghost tour 3

we survived

boat trip

agua

after boat trip, on the bridge

my dream car

heading to the outskirts of prague, ready to board the 'JB' train

outskirts

karlstejn castle in the outskirts. great photography there, gerald.

gerald and me at karlstejn

roy and gerald at karlstejn

delicious korean food in prague. drool people

battered

2007-05-30T11:19:00.000+08:00

i just majorly screwed up all my 3 papers. how? what if i can't grad with a second upper degree? how? no 2.1 means no hopes of ever being a lawyer. how? not that i yearn to be one, but i cant witness 3-yrs of hard work (like real) and tons of money wasted on stupid me just like that, right? and the problem is i had the answers all stored up somewhere up there right before i entered the exam hall. but somehow during the 3 hrs of the paper, everything just went *poof*. gone. just like that.

i'm now having an exam-phobia. i can't even fall aslp for a single minute the night before the exams and this contributed to all that exam nerves.

one more paper to go. it's the last ray of hope left. but i'm taking a break for now.

2007-05-25T05:03:00.000+08:00

this is it

2007-05-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

all my hopes and dreams, all the hard work and lack of sleep, all the instant noodles and pasta - all for nothing.

my fate was sealed in the last 2 hrs during my favourite paper. what made it worse was the fact that i had 100% of the answers up in my puny brain and only managed to convey 30% of them into words on my exam script.

fucking demoralising.

2007-05-20T10:11:00.000+08:00

having gone through this synonymous routine year by year, for at least the past 15 years, im still feeling the high and lows of the inevitable nightmare - exams.

high from the lack of sleep, or rather the daily guilt from sleeping past 5 snoozes of the alarm.

low from all that mugging and yet, minimum absorption. i need the largest dose of omega-3 to boost my memory instantly. almost impossible since fishes cost a bomb here and the only time i attempted, it took me 2 hours to unsuccessfully fry a goddamn mackerel.

daph's bf brought us to this fruit and veg warehouse at 4am in the morning abt 2 nights ago. the sight of brightly-coloured, fresh cherries, bananas, mandarin oranges, lychees, mushrooms, pak choys, chye sims and countless unidentifiable leafs and fruits managed to lift up my spirits instantly after 3 weeks of cooping myself up in my room (other than the weekly grocery-shopping at the supermarkets). if they weren't sold in boxes, i would have bought at least 10 varities back. but still, i stubbornly bought back one whole box of lychees for 8pounds knowing that we would never be able to finish that much.

can't believe im panicking over my results even before i sat for any of the exam papers. results will be out on 22nd june, the day im heading back to sg. can it be any more coincidental? knowing myself, i wld probably check my results before boarding the plane and then... 13 hours of brooding over the best way to break the news to my parents. im already starting to lose my appetite, not cos of exams, but the release of the results. then again, they're are intrinsically linked.

omg im so incoherent. maybe that's how the words in my exam scripts will seem like to the examiners. wish me luck.

news

2007-05-16T10:34:00.000+08:00

lidya babe is coming to join me in UK. yipee! finally, i made her dream, and mine, a reality. ;)

we're gonna conquer europe together, starting with oktoberfest this september. u better come along with me, lid. or i wont show u the best eateries with the spiciest delicacies in london, and leicester.

oh my pretty pretty girl i love you...

so excting so exciting so exciting

2007-05-11T20:28:00.003+08:00

yay i got in yay i got in yay i got into my own blog.

turned out that it was my username tt i had forgotten. duh.

anyway just a brief update since i realised i havent updated for more than a month! hmm let me backtrack...

easter trip:
prague was amazing but budapest was dead boring. and if u havent heard, i almost knocked my tooth out during the olympic-style white water-rafting. water was freezing cold and as if having great difficulty paddling in the cruelly rough waters wasnt extreme enough, we had to struggle with the countless heavy metal bars dangling everywhere, waiting to knock us into a coma. but i like~
the korean restuarant which we visited 3 nights in a row managed to lift up my spirits while having to deal with a loose tooth for the rest of my trip.

hamburg was beautiful, with the shoik-ingly spicy dan-dan mian that i had consecutively for two dinners. berlin was tragic since we couldnt find any gd food though it's rich in history.

after all that happening stuff, im now back in my room struggling with the forthcoming exams. i hate exams i hate exams i seriously hate exams!

and it doesnt help that after this despressing period is over, im faced with two attachments back in sg. there goes my summer hols.

but at least i can look forward to my girls' arrival in UK! and mel, we're gonna visit you together. finally!

lastly, since it's been like decades since i last uploaded any pic, here's a little treat for all of you before i go back to mug:

oriental ball'07

peek-a-boo

2007-03-22T13:14:00.000+08:00

come next thursday, my long easter hols will finally begin. 21 days of packing, unpacking, travelling and all that jazz will be driving me insane and leaving me little energy to do some decent catching up academically. im crossing my fingers and praying hard that i will do ok for the end-of-yr exams in late may.

the number of lectures i've attended for the entire year can be added up using my 10 fingers, probably 5. and that's out of 200 lectures maybe, or even more. aiya i'm just so dead la.

anyway, guess what? students from temasek poly will be coming down leicester for a study visit next friday. and most probably, gerald and i will be giving them a talk on our uni life here. i know it sounds dumb but i got all excited while reading the email sent by the sch - more singaporeans! but well, that's on the back burner.

more importantly, the latest update on my intent to save - futile and it's cleaning me out. very soon i'll be poverty-stricken.

updates

2007-03-15T13:03:00.001+08:00

caught leicester city v leeds united on home ground last night. we were sitting only 3 rows away from the pitch. pretty exciting since that was only my 2nd time watching a match live in stadium, and the 1st to ever sit so close to real-life soccer players. great pity i don't know any of them.

had high hopes for leicester city since it's supposed to be way better than leeds, even placed 6pounds on them to win. but they let me down with a cruel draw, 1-1. well, a small price to pay for patriotism. learnt from a friend that leeds utd was a good team in the top division (premiership) but the chairman brought them down to championship singlehandedly just recently due to inappropriate use of funds, and they are apparently at risk of dropping another division. no wonder the leeds fans, though a minority in the stadium ytd, was a riot. to add insult to the injury, near the end of the match, leic fans shouted "going down, going down, going down". pretty mean thing to do i would say, but it was fun, and funny.

well, sch hols are approaching, 2 more wks to be exact. will be heading down to london end of march for The Shins concert, and the 2-wk holiday destinations in april include hamburg, berlin, prague and budapest. whilst there, will be going on water-rafting, bobsledding, and hopefully rally driving amongst other things. in late april, if all things go well and i am still surviving, will be heading down to newcastlle for a match between NCL v Chelsea. whoopie. but sigh these activities r not c-h-e-a-p. aiya what to do... adventure is my Achilles' heels.

my avowed intent is to scrimp and save, starting this May!

cny

2007-02-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

these few days have been spent gambling till the wee hours of the day - texas poker, mahjong, poker, mahjong, poker, mahjong. other than actual gambling, my hours will be spent watching Dicey Business - a hongkong drama that revolves around the gambling table.

life can be so mundane at times, yet one can have no complaints. and that one is probably turning into a hardcore gambler. oh well life itself is a gamble anyway.

right. happy cny peeps.

amsterdam. and her.

2007-02-12T10:31:00.000+08:00

amsterdam was well, sinful. but it's supposed to be known for its sins anyway. snow patrol's concert was a let-down though. managed to change my impression of the band from neutral to pretty bad. thought they were too drama-mama and their sense of humour was basically just french vulgarity.

red light district was interesting though it was my 2nd time there. but this time we went to watch a truly 'amsterdam show'. not quite what i expected but it's definitely amusing.

tried what everyone in amsterdam has to try. it was certainly an experience, but not one that is hard to forget though.

oh the nam kee restaurant there served the BEST roast duck i've ever had in my entire life! we ordered one whole huge duck for just the five of us amongst other dishes and totally cleaned out the plates. had 2 dinners there in the 3 nights that we were in amst. im salivating just thinking abt it.

the worst part of the holiday was the beginning, and unfortunately, the end.

i burned myself pretty badly 5mins before i was due to head for the airport - had the entire cup of noodles poured all over myself and mind you, the water was 100 degrees literally since i just poured it into the cup immediately after it boiled. luckily, i was all dressed, with my thermal wear, jeans and boots. and still my thigh and a little of my chest area got burned. cant imagine what would it be like if i was wearing just my shorts. wanted to give the trip a miss initially since i had to run ice water over my body for the next 5mins as i thought i was going to die, plus my room was in a big mess with noodles everywhere.

but if that was not bad enough, my 'friends' were pissed with me for wanting to back out last min w/o showing the least bit of concern for my burned skin. and i was 'forced' to go ahead with the trip. imagine the burning sensation i had to endure throughout the cab ride to the airport, plus the most deafening silence throughout the journey as no one spoke. my thigh was burning so bad halfway through the ride that i almost wanted to just jump out of the cab and into another to head back home. but what hurt the most was the way my apparently gd friend reacted towards my mishap.

yet i forgave her and even initiated a conversation with her soon after we arrived at the airport.

but how would u feel if u confide in someone your darkest secrets and she cant stop threatening to tell the world everytime u accidentally stepped on her toes, most of the time w/o even knowing it? and honestly, they were the slightest of the slightest things. and then u have to live in fear of her erratic temper and the day she would spill everything out.

and surprisingly, or rather not surprisingly, i had never been pissed with her even though she goes a little overboard at times. even though i may be, i seldom show it. in fact, i believe i never did. always ready to resume our friendship as it is whenever she wants to or is ready to.

but at times, enough is enough. like today.

2007-01-24T10:59:00.000+08:00

another year on and it's snowing, again. in the blink of an eye, it's been more than 365 days since the last time i felt snow in leicester.

gosh, how have i changed. it's frightening. no, i am frightening. things have been happening so quickly i lost grasp.

then again, things have always been moving at lightning speed in my life.

ok time for a snowball fight. laters.

have you ever really loved a woman

2007-01-08T07:37:00.000+08:00

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you - til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right S
he will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

- a song to all men and for all women.

happy belated halloween 2

2007-01-05T09:24:00.000+08:00

click on those links for a combination of moving visuals and audio:

http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y114/gerilovesfood/halloween06/?action=view&current=P1000603.flv
(polishing up our vampire dance)

http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y114/gerilovesfood/halloween06/?action=view&current=P1000691.flv
(the big performance)

http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y114/gerilovesfood/halloween06/?action=view&current=P1000707.flv
(vampires getting drunk)

happy belated halloween

2007-01-05T08:34:00.000+08:00

yes it's goddamn late. but well, here they are now. enjoy.

an hour before the party started:

my masterpiece:

masterpiece and the creator:

the party starts:

once again, the vampires & the priest:

Take it as it comes

2006-12-31T10:28:00.000+08:00

Time to live
Time to lie
Time to laugh
Time to die

Takes it easy, baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast
And you want your love to last
Oh, you've been movin' much too fast

Time to walk
Time to run
Time to aim your arrows
At the sun

Takes it easy, baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast
And you want your love to last
Oh, you've been movin' much too fast

Go real slow
You like it more and more
Take it as it comes
Specialize in havin' fun

Takes it easy, baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast A
nd you want your love to last
Oh, you've been movin' much too fast

Movin' much too fast
Movin' much too fast

updates

2006-12-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

been some time since i last updated. busy with stuff, as usual. loads have happened so i guess its time for some updates.

1st up, i wont be going back sg during winter this yr, as some of u might alrdy have known. my aitix have been cancelled, mainly cos ive spent too much during my spain holiday and ive got 3 assessed essays to submit this coming january, all of which require considerable research to be done. so i'll see all of you in summer. meanwhile i'll just drool in my bed everytime i think of kway chap, sliced fish beehoon soup, sambal stingray, meebok dry with loads of chilli, chongqing mala steamboat... ok i realised i can go on forever.

2ndly, if anyone's curious abt how has my xmas celebration been, well, it's pretty happening actually. the 7 of us decided to do something prodigious this xmas since we are all stuck here in the bitter cold while our fellow comrades must be enjoying the festive spirit back at home, happily basking in the golden rays everyday. yup and so we started a bbq right in the middle of the piercing cold, out in the open. oh and fyi, the temperature here now dips all the way to minus 3. anyway the food was fabulous, the marination was first-class. and yes, i was part of the marinating team. so yup tts abt it. oh and we exchanged gifts and watched 'love actually' together. awww. tt was my 3rd time watching it.

ok lastly, abt my spain trip. well, me and 4 others made our way down to madrid and barcelona for a 8-day trip on 17 dec. highlight of the trip got to be the process of watching the match between Barcelona and Atletico Madrid live, in stadium Nou Camp in Barca. it was not the fact that we were watching a Spanish league match live in stadium tt made it the highlight. it was the process of watching it. imagine being seated right the the top of the stadium for 3 continuous hours, with strong winds continuously blowing right at your face. and mind you, the temperature then was probably ard 5 degrees. thats as cool as your home refrigerator. and the winds werent helping. the two girls, including myself, cldnt stop shivering the whole time, even with 4 layers piled on our tiny frames. the guys too, just tt they were too into the game tt they prob cldnt care less. and they didnt serve hot drinks. quite an experience indeed.

we stayed in a decent but lawless hostel in Madrid which had youngsters shouting across levels at 4am in the morning. in Barcelona, we rented a cosy, almost perfect apartment for 5 nights. it was a nice little home with a tiny kitchen and 2 bedrooms. everything was clean, modern and well, cosy. oh and if anyone's thinking of going Spain for holiday anytime soon, pls rem to learn some Spanish. cos those ppl know almost zero English and everything was written or said in Spanish. we were forced to learn Spanish fast. the Spanish were generally harmless but rude beyong belief. had a hard time communicating with them throughout the trip. but overall, a decent holiday.

i'll be heading down London on 27th dec for the boxing day-cum-winter sale. will be doing nonstop shopping for 2 days since all prices are expected to be slashed, esp the big brands. if anyone has smth in mind, try ur best to contact me and i'll prob help u check prices and get for u if the price is right. but of cos, 'yi shou jiao qian, yi shou jiao huo'. ;)

ok pictures later, as usual. meanwhile, Merry X'mas everyone!

dog-tired

2006-12-04T14:00:00.000+08:00

Subway, tutorials, singsoc, the 4-letter L word - I'm left prostrated. People whom i thought i could trust my life with sold me down the river. I thought i am a sharp cookie. I am but a fool.

I've a skeleton in the closet. No, skeletons. If only i could set them free and not be sentenced to death by society. Try spending your entire life spinning lies, sailing under false colours.

I'm physically exhausted, mentally drained, emotionally jaded.

My spirit is yearning but my flesh is weak. I'm left to sink or swim.

precious solitude

2006-11-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

As for this song
i'll set the mood
there's nothing wrong
prefer solitude
alone to think
of what i don't know
the deeper i sink
the further i'll go

nothing to fear
no need to hide
i'm already there
came in from outside
safe in my nest
home sweet home
no invited guests
i want to be alone

leave me alone
leave me alone
i wish you would
leave me alone
leave me alone
i just want to be alone

it's better this way
no one will get hurt
if you stay away
i won't lose my shirt
if i have become
too defensive
i'm not the one
you have to live with

i want to be, i want to be
i want to be, alone
don't feel sorry
it's not your concern
only the lonely
are the ones who get burned

safe in my nest
home sweet home
no invited guests
i want to be alone

oops

2006-11-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

so sorry this is belated. but anyway,

HAPPY 21st huishi and chris!

better late than never eh. guess u girls must have had an amazing time back home while i can only imagine. ok wait for me to get back and we'll watch your first R21 movie in the theatres together. *wink wink*

love u babes!

guy fawkes day

2006-11-05T13:10:00.000+08:00

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,'twas his intent
to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.

Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o' cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.

Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

Happy Guy Fawkes Day.

liquored up

2006-11-05T11:21:00.000+08:00

so high. and loving it.

my life in brief.

2006-10-26T00:38:00.001+08:00

havent been much in contact with my compatriots back in the home country. how's everyone? more alive than me of course. mum just called chiding me for trying to avoid her incessant calls, emails and msn messages, which is only partially true. i just happen to always miss her calls and i've only zero credit left in my sim card till the 8th of nov so that explains why i havent been calling back. as for emails and msn messages, im just plain lazy.

anyway for the benefit of my kinsmen, here's a brief update of my days in leicester. nothing happening really. hmm where shld i start? ok weather. it's getting cold but still not cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey. temp ranges from abt 7 - 16 degrees maybe?

sch. been skipping lects but at least i attended my 1st tutorial ytd - human rights. pretty engaging. oh for a start, i've been to the 24-hr medical library last night at ard 1am hoping to do a little catching up myself. no significant progress but well, at least it's a start.

food. havent been cooking much other than the occassional regale with fellow singaporeans stuck here. the last was the sumptous steamboat in our kitchen that lasted 2 nights. more often than not, i'll be surviving on cup or instant noodles.

entertainment. other than the weekly revo nights, theres really nothing much going on here. hmm we'll be heading down to the theatres to catch marie antoinette in a few hrs' time. yup and cambridge last sat was not too bad. punting was fun, probably cos my punt consisted of 3 guys out of 5 persons, one of which was previously from dragonboat. so we had not much of a problem maneuvering the wooden punt ard the charming River Cam. this sat will be heading down to liverpool with daph to join in michelle & brandon's (friends i gotta know thru my law internship) bday celebration. will be spending the night at mich's hse. oh and we're planning ahead for halloween - chinese vampires. hmm but nothing surprising if all dont turn out as planned, cos thats usually the case.

that leaves us with well, emotions. in all honesty and if you will pardon my french, i feel like fuck. in proper english, that simple means i dont feel happy. whats new, right? ive got no reason to jump for joy. so till the next or rather, my 1st lottery strike, i'll probably continue sulking away and feeling nothing more than jaded.

and that's it folks. pictures later.

but before i draw the curtains, HAPPY 21st CHOY DARLING (praying i got the date right)! stay sexy. love!

today

2006-10-23T08:41:00.000+08:00

this morning, i got out of bed on the wrong side. the moodiness continued for the entire day other than the occasional forced laughters and the few sudden outbursts of 'excitement'.

at least the steamboat was satisfying and the wet trip to the chinese shop was hmm.. enlightening. oh and i think i ought to mention this - that daph darling has been such a well, darling. besides the fact that she sleeps 15hrs a day.

this sounds random but i feel a strong need to hold my horses and probably make a retreat back to solitude before things get out of hand.

easier said than done. how.

tabula rasa

2006-10-20T12:21:00.000+08:00

im missing classes again. and again.

next week on, i'll start with a clean slate. come hell or high water, you'll see me mugging at the medical library at least twice a week.

oh come on, call me a nerd.

revo nights

2006-10-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

crossroads

2006-10-19T20:51:00.000+08:00

Between the devil and the deep blue sea, i dont have much of a choice do i?

come what may, i'll just have to bite the bullet.

new tagboard, same old me.

2006-10-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

finally. i've got a new tagboard. Tagboard Message Board probably cut some thousands of ppl, including myself, off from one of our very limited means of communication with our fellow gossipers. aiya im just thrilled to have a tagboard agn. so tag me tag me.

thought of revamping my entire blog - replace the blogskin with something much more vibrant, take away tt gloomy pic at the top and substitute it with one thats spells merriment, re-typing my profile blah blah. all these to go along with the introduction of my new tagboard. so i can better fit the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed image tt everyone has of me.

yet, after spending two whole hours sourcing for a funky sunny pic and a blogskin that i can envision myself staring at everyday, im back to the square one again. thoughts of livening up my life well.. will just remain as thoughts, at least for now.

yep, some things just cant be changed.

the apocalypse of the war within

2006-10-15T02:58:00.000+08:00

i wish i cld just pack my bags and leave. but where to? the insomnia, the nightmares, the bad memories, the gd memories, the solitude, the uncertainty, the congestion, the home that i cant bring myself to return to - they necessitate a more effective form of escapism.

i wish i cld indulge in the 'me-first' materialism so prevalent in this world.

i wish somebody cld fathom the reasons behind my doings, and undoing.

i wish i cld just stop laughing.

im washed-out.

news

2006-10-10T06:26:00.000+08:00

i have decided.

this winter i will not be heading home. will be travelling around europe with the rest of the leicesterians instead.

so i'll see you in june next year.

fuck

2006-10-07T03:09:00.000+08:00

i just fucked up my whole life. fuck me.

my bitches

2006-09-24T02:50:00.000+08:00

"goodbye to you my beloved friends
we've known each other since we were ah-lians
together we've gone thru secondary
learned of sex and kinky undies
sung our hearts out
at the KTV

goodbye my friend i'm gonna fly
when i leave just look up
to the sky
oh please, please do not despair
hot babes like us are not everywhere
but think of me and i'll be there

we had joy we had fun
we got burnt under the sun
but the laughters made it up &
we always have a great time"

- with love from geri

girls' night out

2006-09-23T14:34:00.000+08:00

thanks babes for the great night out. thumper was well.. flooded with drinks and photos! anybody knows where will those photos be appearing at? FHM? or some website?

zouk was.. filled with more drinks, grooves and erm.. some yawnings. oh and not to forget ultraman, superman and spiderman. rena, pls go practise on it.

and thank you rich for the invites, the drinks, the ride and the supper.

i had fun. ;)

Drained

2006-09-23T14:23:00.000+08:00

They'll make you or break you
They'll swallow you whole
They'll find you and bind you
To every word that they own
But you know yhat you need them
So you continue to feed them
So I hope that you're in this
For all the right reasons
They can't make you feel something you don't believe in
But they can threaten your future
And everything in it
When you fail to remember just where you've been
When you can't tell up from down
How do you write from within?
And all I know is that they're
They're trying to squeeze me dry
They told me
They own me
And all I know is that they're
They're trying to squeeze me dry
I look in the mirror and what do I see?
A man staring back at me who used to be me
He looks so familiar
He once had big dreams

But I can't see that he's been drained of his soul and integrity

living life

2006-09-22T01:38:00.000+08:00

"Live for yourself la geri. Don't keep living for someone else. It's not worth it."

The ride home was a teary one, for both you and me. Flowing with the tears are months of agony and pain. It's not over.

But tomorrow will be a better day.

my american idol

2006-09-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

"How Bush's grandfather helped Hitler's rise to power " - Guardian Unlimited

"Luke Harding at Abu Ghraib prison, near Baghdad, where stories of US guards routinely abusing prisoners come as no surprise to Iraqis" - The Guardian

We've all heard about Guantanamo Bay. Now let us pay a tribute to our fellow mankind once held in Abu Ghraib, by our fellow mankind.

sick

2006-09-19T18:10:00.000+08:00

so many things have happened, so much is happening.

my immune system gave way to my pretty screwed up life. now, 6 days before im due to fly, im down with fever, blocked nose and a bad sorethroat - just when im supposed to savour all the mala, chillies and everything nice before i leave them all behind.

urgh.

overdued bangkok

2006-09-11T23:32:00.000+08:00

well here comes. wont be aplenty since im not so much of a photowhore. enjoy.

rich doing the sweetest thing again.

oh well, thank you sweet little thing.

guess i really tire him out

changed into everything bought in bangkok

look at our colour combi

all these and more, for S$20+ (softshell crab, kangkong, two plates of noodles and seafood steamboat)

the three musketeers. heh

compare & contrast

ooooo

yea

utt became our chauffeur for the evening ;)

check out his dvd player.

last min shopping on final day. time: 8.30am

his tshirt reads 'sex on tv' ;)

A Reminder

2006-09-07T17:00:00.000+08:00

In Singapore, a lawsuit against a doctor is the most difficult to handle, Dr Edmund Kronenburg, one of the directors of a local law firm who specialised in medical negligence cases, explained to my godbrother and me. He further illustrated that it will cost a bomb. Our hearts sank.

My godmother, a once healthy and active lady, sauntered into her hospital ward on the day of the operation, but came out lying paralysed from the neck down, after barely escaping death in the operation theatre due to an unknown complication. At present, the family wants nothing but a decent compensation for all the resulting expenses. Yet this seemingly straightforward task is proving to be an enigmatic ball-buster due to limited reserves.

We were finally advised to go negotiate with the operating doctor all by ourselves, just me and my 23-year old godbrother who had little clue about the law. Only if the doctor refuses to cooperate will the law step in, along with the king-sized bill.

A couple of weeks later, I went down to Chinatown to interact with the aged over there, as well as to bring some food and necessities down for them. One man in his sixties, who used to be a well-respected figure in the Underworld in 1950s, approached me for help with teary eyes. His only wish in life now is to find back his beloved sister whom he has lost contact with for over 20 years. I went to the Police, they referred us to the Immigrations & Checkpoint Authority (ICA), Singapore. I called the ICA up and they said they would not be able to help us in any way as all information are to be kept purely confidential, regardless of the situation.

November 2003 - I embarked on a mission to Cambodia. We were to provide construction aid at the Sangkhuem Orphanage. I was lucky to be one of the few who had the chance to be brought into the cruelly rural areas in Siem Reap where even bicycles, the most common mode of transport in rural areas, were not even heard of. We were told by the locals that the orphanage we were assigned to was considered one of the most privileged ones. There were many abominable orphanages around which paid peanuts to the villagers in exchange of their children and these hapless kids would be brutally abused and starved in the orphanages, often leading to early deaths. Today, this is still very much in practice and it seems nothing is done about it.

Everybody has their own achievements, however small, likewise for me. I used to work as a journalistic writer for a publishing company during my polytechnic internship and continued part-time for them even after my internship ended. There, I helped out with the publication of the Singapore National Day's souvenir and activity books for the year 2004. I was one of the three main writers whose responsibilities included conducting interviews, attending media briefs, researching on Singapore's history, coordinating and analysing data collected and finally, writing the books out. At the end of my work term, I received an appreciation plague from our local Minister for Defence.

I am sure these skills that I have picked up and applied throughout my internship are parallel to the ones vital in the law industry. However, this is not the main reason why I am applying for law. In fact, it is through my personal experiences in life that makes law so endearing and fascinating a subject for me.

When one is faced with so many contradictions in life, there are endless burning questions he or she will want to find answers to. To me, it seems that the law is a determining factor in many of the controversial situations I have witnessed. Therefore, here I am, seeking to capitalise on the power of the law for all the right causes.

- June 2005

Sometimes, I just have to remind myself of the reasons why I took up law in the first place. This will keep me going, hopefully.

the past week

2006-09-03T11:50:00.000+08:00

bangkok was the highlight. duh. stayed in a really nice hotel where we have our own suite and sumptous international buffet breakfast. although it was a mad rush since we practically only had one full day, we somehow managed to shop quite abit. food was cheap and good, esp the kangkong - so fresh, so green. rich gave me a mini surprise and it instantly warmed my heart.

wed was well-spent too. had my virgin meal at Pariss international buffet at tampines mall. realised its $10 cheaper than the ones in orchard and marina square. plus that uncle gave us student discount so we only paid $21 nett each for a buffet dinner that included fresh and baked oysters, all kinds of sashimi, crocodile bak kut teh, sharksfin soup, black pepper crab, teppanyaki blah blah blah. caught The Breakup - it was ok, not fantastic but i didnt fall asleep.

thurs:
met up with the a&g interns for dinner at marche. brought them to mitre thereafter to view the S$70million hotel but they didnt know how to appreciate it. then it was off to some posh bar and then mos. met utt there and got him a drink since i owed him one. daph cldnt stop smiling after taking a pic with him. well her mum wanted to run down and join us immediately after daph told her over the phone tt she's meeting utt. interesting mum. anyway we played "kiss the loser" game and we had unlimited drinks so eventually, daph and michelle got really high and it was hilarious. jenson was sleeping half the time! and brandon cld have gotten drunk if not for his car. luckily i drove too.

fri:
shopped at ntuc for an hour and bought 3 big bags of canned and dried food and all kinds of pastes, ready to ship to uk. then it was The Devil Wears Prada at midnight, not too bad a show.

sat:
missed IMH for the first time. feeling like shit now but at that time, i really cldnt bring myself to go due to personal reasons. anyway spent the later part of the afternoon watching season 3 of sex and the city with rich after visiting his mum. then it was off to kbox with leicesterians. we have some pretty gd singers among us. hmm

ok that sorta sums up the physical part of my past week. we'll leave the emotional part to a later time.

the ups and downs

2006-08-25T23:47:00.001+08:00

last day of work was surprsingly enjoyable. had a meeting with fellow grp members in this cool meeting room overlooking the esplanade from 10am till our presentation at 1230.

presentation was fine, glad the floor didnt post any questions. afterwhich my grp members were nice enough to sneak out of office to hold a mini farewell for me at pacific coffee. had a few laughs over some random topics, including gays and their playtrains. next thurs we'll be having a get-together with all interns (30 of us) at either the loof or mos. pretty happening ppl.

other than work, im kinda sick of everything else. life can get really miserable at times.

i need to get out of this cobweb.

work

2006-08-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

it's getting better, maybe cos im leaving.

well, technically, i've got nothing much to do cos my mentor has no work for me knowing that i'm leaving this friday. but luckily we have this grp presentation on friday regarding uk law on duties and liabilities of company directors. so im always telling my mentor that im going for grp meetings or going to the company's library to search for material for my proj when im actually slacking in all sorts of ways.

but we did have a grp meeting today though. and it was kinda fun. booked a huge meeting room with just the 4 of us - eating nasi lemak, talking cock, having a pen-fight and of cos, getting down to some work. oh the scenery was beautiful, esp from the 30th floor.

ok im tired. tmr gonna have another loooong 'meeting'. yay! below is a grp photo of all interns.

random pics

2006-08-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

shups, fel, me at mala

me and daph just before acidbar

acidbar with daph, mon and gerald

rich power at mos

getting high at mos

rach bday

liddy's bday

shisha in leicester

continuation of a great weekend

2006-08-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

went shopping with mummy today and finally bought the seamless bra that i've been eyeing for a long time. hooray!

Next stop was a sumptous steamboat dinner at beach road with family. And finally - durian at hougang! yummy yum. I love my sunday.

but i hate mondays.

my weekend

2006-08-20T02:27:00.000+08:00

fri night was a blast. missed the days when we go crazy together, talked rubbish and simply be stupid. missed the times alone with u girls. and hence, fri night was a revival of the old times and i've never felt so myself again since a long time ago.

oh and i wanna thank jon for helping me with my attachment proj cos i was so lost, as usual. and also for his help with my aunt's insurance claim. he's such a nice guy and a great buddy. i owe him one super big one. ;)

today, went to IMH with a hangover. hardcore rena made me drink one whole jug of long island tea by myself. the last time i actually drank more than 3 glasses of alcohol was the time i got so drunk in revo (uk). so expectedly, my alcohol tolerance went down by quite abit and im happy cos i dont have to spend much on alcohol to get me high. heh.

though tired and bugged by a throbbing headache and this nagging nauseous feeling, i still managed a few laughs with the patients. we're gonna have an outing with the patients in sept! will be heading down to east coast park with them to build those HUGE sand castles with the help of real sandcastle experts. im so excited and will be praying hard for the trip to be in mid-sept instead of end-sept as I will be in uk by then. sigh..

oh and i got a pleasant surprise from rich today. a 15-page proposal and a handmade house with a swimming pool, stable, 2 cars and 3 of my favourite restaurants. my dream home, except it was not life-size. he's really quite creative eh and it seriously did make me smile. thank u rich! u're gooood.

tmr will be heading down to suntec with mummy for a stupid talk and hopefully, shopping!

ok it's bedtime.

what a bitch.

2006-08-15T23:31:00.000+08:00

ya thats me.

i've been really cranky these days. my mood swings faster than the pentulum in my grandfather's clock. and the main victims are the usual - rich and my family (esp my mum). it's just so convenient venting all my pent-up anger/stress/greivances on them huh. urgh so pissed with myself.

probably it's work. probably it's something else.

probably it's both.

a record

2006-08-13T04:35:00.000+08:00

guess wat? it took me 2hrs to upload these long-overdued pics. tts precisely why they are so overdued.

swiss memories

2006-08-13T03:11:00.000+08:00

the place to be

swiss alps

mon, me and jon

in the white rain

mon, me, jon - in front of the swiss casino we went to

the aftersnow

waiting for bus

dont we look professional?

steady me taking a photo of unsteady mon and jon

3/4 way down the neverending ski slope

my swiss car

one of the places we drove to

our cars

parking at our hostel's lot

the caravan place we drove to

homemade choc fondue

preparing to soar

after we landed

my handsome paragliding pilot

jon sneakily taking a photo of the two half-awake girls reluctantly packing up for geneva

geneva

im going shopping!

homecooked food in swiss

two monicas and me enjoying our swiss cheese fondue

last night in switz - lets drink up

can you see the tap of beer we ordered on our table?

yes, we were that hardcore.

drink drink drink

drunk

enjoying ourselves at a swiss club

look who's drunk again

jon: don't tell me u're going to shop with these heavy bags tt we're carrying.
mon: i wanna shop i wanna shop i wanna shop!

calling in sick

2006-08-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

im skipping work tmr. yes, only my 6th day of work and im gonna skip. but i really have to. im packed to the brim, suffocated with work and more work. have got singsoc stuff to work on, having just met up with the committee again after work today. and on friday, this professor from leicester uni is coming down to discuss the community work plan tt i've proposed to the school. so i've got ALOT to work on. plus i've also got my legal project to research on as well as to complete this memo for one of the cases im helping out with. yet tmr is an impt work day cos im supposed to finish up the memo for my mentor and have a group proj meeting during lunchtime.

but heck la. im so tired. i feel like im perpetually on slping pills and im beginning to suspect tt im allergic to work. well, at least legal work. i always go to the office feeling healthy though half-aslp, but an hr later i'll be sneezing nonstop and my eyes will soon drown me in a pool of tears. horrible feeling. and my productivity level goes record-low. i mean how much can u concentrate on when u're like using your 7th pack of tissue in 3hrs, with teary eyes and super red, itchy and painful nose?

and im still suffering from tt irritating flu as im typing this. doesnt help tt my cramps started today and are getting from bad to worse as the night progresses. so yea, i've got enough reasons to stay home tmr right?

im sure my mentor's gonna be thinking tt im trying to avoid doing the memo, which is only partially true. if im not feeling so terrible, i wld force myself to do all these terrible work. serious.

but i AM feeling terrible.

you

2006-08-05T10:55:00.000+08:00

Hate Me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

totally drained

2006-08-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

im exhausted.

mentally, physically and emotionally.

working life

2006-08-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

cant believe its only my 2nd day of work. im so totally drained. the 9 hrs seemed like 9 years. aft work, im literally like a walking zombie. went to collect my corporate suit and then to steamboat buffet dinner at suntec. wasnt fantastic though. think the mala buffet in bugis was much better.

back home, i've got my singsoc stuff to settle again. i wonder if i can last till the end of my attachment.

but well, the good thing is my mentor spoke to me today! imagine the awkwardness when there were only me and him in his office for 9hrs a day, and we didnt even speak for like more than 10 words ytd. ok 8hrs excluding lunchtime. but near the end of today, we had a long conversation about a lawyer's life, the abusive judges, A&G's corporate culture, the weirdest cases he had handled / heard abt, blah blah blah.

he doesnt seem to be like the lion i thought he was. in fact, i actually learnt alot from our almost 2-hr conversation. and he said smth tt made me think he's the perfect mr-nice-guy. he told me he doesnt want me to keep doing legal research like wat most interns are doing throughout my attachment. of cos, legal research is part and parcel of a lawyer's job but most imptly, he want me to get a real feel of the legal industry. he'll be getting me involved in whatever interesting things tt he's involved in for this whole month. so tmr i'll be following him to a formal meeting with his clients. and on friday and half of next wk, i'll be attending a criminal case trial at the sub courts, most probably sitting in the chambers. so i gotta be in formal black and white. ooo..

yay at least i wont be as bored, though i'll still be burnt out. my mentor is the most considerate boss afterall. oh and he and two other partners will be bringing 3 of us attachees out for lunch sometime soon. before today, i wld hv thought tt the only time the lion would bring me out for lunch was to make me his lunch. he looked so stern i thought he cld really bite.

im just so glad tt i was so wrong.

being a professional

2006-08-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

1st day of work - stress and more stress. doesnt help tt me mentor is not the talkative type so for 1/2 of the day, i was sitting right in front of him in his office, pretending to look busy while trying hard not to fall aslp. having nothing to do is the ultimate stress.

then came the work. well, i shld be happy tt im helping out on a big ongoing case now so at least im learning. but there's so much legal research to do. spent near to 2hrs in the company's library searching thru books aft books, photocopying, highlighting, summarising and organizing. the lawyers will be attending another court session for this case so im hoping to tag along. well, having work to do is not relaxing either, esp when i've got to bring work home to do!

but it was fun wearing the lanyard with our access card ard raffles place. each card is personalised with our name and Allen&Gledhill printed bold over it. so people look at us like 'wow she's a lawyer'. haha cheap thrill. luckily the work 'intern' was not on the card. heh

and the best part? A&G has lowered their standard of formality for dressing this year. so there's no colour code though we still have to look corporate. well, i dont have to be black and white everyday, unless attending court sessions. oh and thank pek for giving me directions and advising me on how to go abt doing my work. i wld have been so lost.

oh and the movie Click was gd, tho predictable. pastamania was nice too, but i had too much. and thanks rich for the little gift today during lunch. it was very sweet of u.

came back ome to more legal work and singsoc stuff. gosh im racing agst time. and its an amazing race indeed.

freedom lost

2006-07-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

tmr is the start of one month of gruelling weekdays, precious weekends and dull black and whites.

oh gosh. im gonna start working. god help me, esp with my pathetic black court shoes. ugliest pair i've ever owned, worst buy of my life.

neurasthenia

2006-07-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
See what there is to see
Time is just a melody
With all the people in the street
Walking as fast as their feet can take them
I just roll through town
And though my window's got a view
Well the frame I'm looking through
Seems to have no concern for now so for now I

I need this here old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown

Well this engine screams out loud
Centipede gonna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Because it's gonna sting me when I leave this town
And all the people in the street
That I'll never get to meet
If these tracks don't bend somehow
And I got no time that I got to get
To where I don't need to be so I

I need this here old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown

I want to break on down
But I can't stop now
Let me break on down

But you can't stop nothing if you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know
That you don't know nothing but you don't need to know
The wisdom's in the trees not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing if you don't let go
Of the things that you find and you lose and you know
You keep on rolling, put the moment on hold
Because the frame's too bright, so put the blinds down low

I need this here old train to breakdown
Oh please just let me please breakdown

I got to break on down
But I can't stop now

these 2 days

2006-07-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

were gd. the stayover was great, tho i slept too much. had good fun, good food, good rest and sweet memories. went shopping this afternoon. tho i was still super tired, i just cldnt stop shopping till i bought smth. and that thing turned out to be a simple dress from.... 37degrees! haha im young again, or trying to be.

then it was off to the movies at night - pirates! with rich, elspeth and ryan. nice! duh. johnny depp leh. next up... yu pian tang. what else? heh.

i dread next tues.

burnt

2006-07-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

supposed to head out for wild wild wet today. got my gear ready, dressed in bikini and sarong, arrived at the entrance of www only to realise its closed on every tues - of all days. anyway headed down to tampines instead and swam and tanned and got burnt.

on the way there, i was still complaining tt it was already 2plus and the sun's not gonna have any effect on the colour of my skin anymore. and now my face is burning. urgh. but i had fun in the pools, swimming, going on the children's slides and hanging out on the sun deck.

went down to tampines mall after tt and i was impressed by the variety of shops in that neighbourhood mall. when will hougang mall or junction8 or northpoint be like tampines? sigh.

then it was time for maggi & me! oh rich totally impressed us again with his very natural acting, didnt he? well, at least one TNP tv critic agrees with me. turn to pg32 of today's (tues) TNP and u'll know what am i talking abt. briefly, he/she (cant rem the gender) complimented adrian and fiona for their acting skills but in the last paragraph, he/she stated that the best find was still RICHMOND with his rubber face and great acting. basically, he/she thought that rich was hilarious. well done chicken little! *pat pat*

ok time for a bath.

MY dinner.

2006-07-24T00:05:00.000+08:00

i absolutely love the feeling when ppl tell me they love my cooking. a few hrs ago, i prepared a sumptous meal for my family - stir-fried garlic pepper prawns, grilled salmon with sambal, boiled chicken with sesame oil, stir-fried cabbage with minced meat and mushrooms, and carrot-potato-onion soup. everyone loved it, i think, even my sister's bf. cos i only received positive feedback.

oh and rich came to join us awhile later. he didnt believe i prepared all those dishes. i made him ask my mum then he shockingly accepted the truth. somehow he kept thinking my mum must have taught or helped me in some ways. hello? the only one time my mum stepped into the kitchen while i was at work was to ask when will dinner be ready. she was more than happy that she didnt have to prepare dinner for a day so she made use of the chance fully by staying beside my dad the whole time watching tv while i slogged away. anyway rich loved the food, tts why he didnt believe they were prepared by me. oh well.

im not complaining cos i actually love cooking, without the washing. realised im quite creative when im in the kitchen cos i didnt actually use the cookbook except for the prawns. cos seafood is super expensive in uk so i dont have much experience cooking them. but hey, it turned out super delicious. all the plates were cleaned up by the very appreciative ppl, including my maid. and i mean by eating everything off the plates. sweet.

oh and thank u chicken little for bringing over those satays. my family loves it.

thinking about what i should cook next... hmm

my weekend.

2006-07-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

spent friday night with gorilla and momo, with rich being the intruder - again. haha he's supposed to be with his friends at MOS tt night but one of them was not feeling well, so both went back and left him alone. anyway the music sucked at phut tt night. guess the dj was trying smth new but apparently, it was not working, at least not for us. so to my surprise, gorilla suggested going for supper at 1plus! of cos, i did not complain, how cld i? it's food.

so the 4 of us went to have our favourite supper - yu pian tang at amk. heh. the night was made lively again by the heated debate between the ever-irritating rich and our dear momo who never fails to tickle us with her random and incoherent answers to rich's qns. and with gorilla grinning away the whole night, ecstatic over e fact tt rich was changing his target from her to poor momo. kekeke. i was just busy with my sliced fish as usual.

oh and once again, a big thank you to my dear babes - momo, gorilla and fanchoy, for the beautiful bikini from surfer girls. momo actually remembered me saying tt yellow piece was so pretty but unfortunately, the price was even more beautiful so i walked out of the shop empty-handed. but my dear babes made me the proud owner of it now. ;)

hmm sat afternoon was spent at IMH with our best buddies. sadly, rich's 'bro' - the big indian guy with an even bigger tummy who murmurs, fancied me over rich. heh heh. met some of the female patients too and they are just as adorable, perhaps even livelier than the males. oh and some of the volunteers kept calling me the ambassador for IMH. *scratches head* Can't wait till the next session, but it's another fortnight away. SIGH.

then it was down to the hosp to visit rich's mum. we received a great news - she shld be able to get discharged on monday if nothing goes wrong. yippee! finally!

had pastamania at cine for supper and rich bought me a nice off-shoulders top. thank you!

today is family day. and guess what? i'll be cooking for my dearest ones. kekeke. hmm hopefully, it'll be a spread. baked salmon with butter and belachan, cabbage with minced meat, chicken soup and chicken rice. ok off i go to NTUC now.

till then.

harsh reality

2006-07-17T01:22:00.000+08:00

yup 2 hrs before our flight took off, we called to cancel our bangkok trip. now we have to appeal to get at least one small part of our money back. hopefully those ppl out there will be able to empathise with our situation.

the past few days we witnessed some things we have never seen or heard in our lives. there were certain ups and downs but for most of the time, everything seemed solemn and bleak, except the occassional forced laughters. it seemed that no one else had gone through what we were going through - the insanity, the pain, the silence, the pandemonium, the inertia, the stillnes and the tears. but well, we'll never know eh. afterall, it is almost impossible to be happy in that sort of place. behind every face around us, i guess there's bound to be a sad story.

when will this tragedy finally come to an end? is there really light at the end of the tunnel?

if so, how long more do we have to travel?

sitting, waiting, wishing.

2006-07-15T13:24:00.000+08:00

its 4 hours before we are set to fly. and we may be forfeiting our trip afterall, prob not able to get any money back.

oh well, if we have to stay, we'll stay. sometimes fate can be so cruel huh.

MOS-ing

2006-07-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

MOS on wed was fun. well i never knew i cld have great fun in MOS. we hopped from hiphop to electro to retro. and everywhere we go, we had one hell of a time. guess it was partly cos of e alcohol at work. me and daph were drinking nonstop but still, we only got just a little high. damn.

jit keng and me made a pact not to drive there cos all of us agreed to get high tt night. but damn, the alcohol was just not strong enough. and i actually ordered long island tea for most part of the night. all of us went back goddamn sober. but thank god i didnt drive cos just like 500m away from MOS, there was a roadblock. phew.

ryan was spinning electro in pure for an hr so we had to be there to support him. i've never danced to electro before this but man was that crazy. we were trying to move to that robotic-tune and it was just pure fun.

hiphop was sexy, with all that grooving and grinding. heh. man can my uk friends dance, and so can rich. cheers to them!

retro was funny. gerald was trying hard to teach us the mambo moves. and we were trying to adopt them with a little polishing to make them our style. we had a great time clowning around.

rich intro-ed me to one of his artistes, howard. hm thats e 1st guy that i've met who's actually an artiste and yet seems smaller than rich. heh. but he's a cool guy, very friendly. oh and thanks rich for bringing all my guy friends in for free. they were happy being VIPs for a night. cheap thrill. ;)

well that kinda sums up wed night. and it's not gonna stop there, is it?

oh lun is back and pek will be back in 3 days' time. we're gonna have more fun then eh? and they are gonna bring my bday pressies back. keke. sweet.

leicesterians

2006-07-12T18:55:00.000+08:00

met up with daph, mon, gerald gn and xy for singsoc meeting last night. glad that we were quite productive and got most work done though we got chased out of the new lib and out of orchard lib. ;)

then daph, mon, gerald goh, jit keng, rich and me went to catch Thank You for Smoking. Not a bad show but mon hated it cos it was 90% talking, not much action. It's a clever movie with pretty intelligent jokes though the movie's a little meaningless. but if u're not those who will get the not-in-your-face jokes, you'll probably hate it.

after which rich went back home to rest and the rest of us went up to marina south for 2 games of bowling. i was the top scorer for both games! ;D heh jk cldnt get over losing to a girl. anyway jk was driving recklessly la. haiya im still the safest yet efficient driver.

just came back from tutoring the underprivileged kids. hmm interesting experience. shant elaborate much. it's a learning experience for me but a tiring one though. then tonight, it'll be MOS-ing again. rich bringing the male leicesterians in for free and the girls will just stroll in on this ladies night.

tmr's not gonna be another happening day for me. im gonna visit my grandpa in the morning then it's time to be a gd girl and stay home to acc my family before i fly off to bangkok on sat. wheet.

IMH

2006-07-09T00:18:00.001+08:00

spent a day at IMH with rich and other Achievers volunteers. prior to my virgin day there, i've been receiving feedback about how insane tt place is. but to the contrary, me and rich felt so comfortable there.

well, firstly, the place is decorated like a huge, beautiful chalet with mini gardens everywhere. and when i say huge, i mean huge. if anyone ever plays hide-and-seek there, you can spend at least a month seeking the hiders. and though the sun was unmerciful in the afternoon, surprisingly, it's pretty windy over there.

secondly, the patients are well, not like anyone i have known in my entire life. duh. they are special but they are not harmful. in fact, some of them are so simple-minded we felt so at ease interacting with them. they played games with us, talked to us, one even danced with rich. but they have no ulterior motives, except to get those sweets off our hands. so we use the sweets as 'carrots' to encourage them to open up and interact with us.

they dont know whats jealousy (except when they see one patient having more sweets than them), they dont know how to do evil (other than to steal sweets when we're not looking). in fact when rich told one volunteer that "IMH spells sanity, the world outside is the place tts insane", i fully agree with him.

ok enough of the serious stuff, lets talk abt the patients. well, some of them behave quite normally actually. one volunteer told us that in fact, a handful of them may long have been in a stable condition but because they have no relatives and friends, they cant be let out in case something outside triggers the worst in them again. tts such a sad thing to hear.

these patients here do not see the world outside IMH except once in a blue moon when the volunteers organise a day out with them to a park or something. yes 'once in a blue moon' is the phrase. still, there are only a selected few who can actually be let out with the volunteers.

hmm we interacted with quite a number of them during their interaction time. some are really talented at chess, table-tennis, basketball and what not. some prefer to sit down and talk abt their family and probs. one big indian guy with this super huge round belly is rich's best friend. he seems to tickle rich alot. the whole time, rich just kept going back to talk to him cos apparently, he mumbles alot and nobody can understand him which tickles rich. and rich just mumbled back. and rich loves to punch his belly and lure him with sweets cos he has this i-dont-care-bout-the-world attitude which changes immediately when u offer him a sweet, and only when u offer him one. aiya tt rich ah, just loves to disturb tt poor guy.

another guy seems to have a crush on me. haha. i spent quite some time talking to him and suddenly, his conversation turned cheeky. then he kept asking why im not angry when rich patted my back cos a male cannot touch a female. then the whole time after, his eyes just kept following me ard the room. heh. kinda freaky but he's actually quite a nice guy.

then there's this another guy who came to me and said, "there are alot of tigers outside, alot alot. you better be careful." to which i said, "yea. so its better if we stay inside huh." another guy went up to rich and ask him to look out for a lieutenant in e room. then there's this indian guy who asked rich if he can dance like michael jackson. rich said yes, followed by a brief performance. but the guy shook his head after rich's performance, muttered nooooo... and walked away. tt was hilarious. this same indian guy came up to me and told me tt his bro is fat and he's fit. then he asked if i like his brother or him. to which i obviously said him. then he proudly told me he has 5 girlfriends, 2 of which are his wives.

the conversations with them are just so different, in a gd way. cos somehow, i enjoyed them. some of them never failed to make me laugh. i just love them all, and im happy to know tt rich feels exactly the same way as me. in fact, we r already missing them. too bad the next session is a fortnight away.

anybody interested?

hairy business

2006-07-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair! freaking short but not short enough.

its like too short to tie or do anything nice yet too long to look tidy. so well, its just like a bomb, exploded bomb, when im wearing no gel. oh crap. what have i done?

other than the bad haircut, mummy brought me shopping for corporate wear today to prepare for my internship. i took pains choosing and trying those bright, smart and pretty shirts only to find out from my senior that the colour code for staff at the law firm is usually the ever-so-boring black and white. well, technically there's no strict colour code but just that most ppl play safe by wearing those dull colours. ok looks like i have to go exchange my great buys. urgh

but its been a nice day out with my family. ended the day with dinner at amk ave 10 with dad, mum and sis. had fried oyster, bbq chicken wings, sliced fish beehoon soup, froglegs and bbq stingray! yummylicious. my parents just spoil me with food when im back. im not complaining though. ;)

oh btw my mum's complaining tt im fat and cant stop nagging at me over my food intake. gosh. then agn im really growing a tummy now, gotta start learning how to use the Uzap tt my sis bought. zap away all u dirty oily thing in my tummy!

an inspiration at last

2006-07-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

have been pondering if i shld find a part-time job in UK while studying cos obviously, the money is gd. but then i'll be struggling with my studies, cos knowing me, i'll be tired out easily and will probably skip lessons agn. hmm...

and then an inspiration came. as i'll be going bangkok on the 15th, i'll source for gd buys and sell them off in UK's ebay. heh heh. anyway UK's fashion is one season behind SG so i can 'import' SG's trend into UK. mostly, i'll be focusing on accessories, so there will be alot of sourcing for chains, beads, hooks, belts, bags etc cos it's supposedly dirt-cheap in thai. moreover, take the exchange rate for baht-pounds. sweeeeet.

so happy! my mum even mentioned tt she'll help me with the accessories part. well my mum has goosd fashion taste and she's good with handicraft, so well.. bingo!

anyway the past wk had been pretty eventful. so eventful my mum cldnt stop nagging this morning. but i must admit tt she had a reason to nag la.

monday - hung out with rich watching soccer
tues - went for mala with fel and shups. as usual, i ate much more than them. heh but it was nice just catching up on old times.
wed - rich passed his driving test! yay! and we went shopping to celebrate. shopped for MY things. heh
thurs - met up with uk frens - daph, mon and gerald. had a satisfying dinner at Holland V's CJ la-mian xiaolongbao and then down to acid bar and had a ball of a time drinking, singing and grooving away. it was the band's last night so it was fun.
fri - met up with rich for mala agn. hehe. and shopped ard with the gorilla. she had a long list of stuff to buy but in e end, i bought more stuff than her. sigh. then it's down to zoukie. gorilla was brainwashed by me the whole day and night & she eventually went down to zouk with me to meet up with shi, mel and rach seet. after tt was supper, hmm didnt really like e food there though.
sat - went to travel agency to book the bangkok trip and shopped ard at marina sq n suntec with rich but didnt get anything. then it was down to Butter Factory with rich to meet up with my poly frens - laura's last night in SG before she flies off to Melbourne for studies. i like the club though, so much better than phuture cos i had more room to dance and the crowd was more mature. wld definitely recommend the club. had fun with rich on the dancefloor - he's still the best dance partner so far. he just stands out on the danceflr with his grooves and tt cocky attitude. ;)
today - going for a sumptous dinner with my family. they're hollering at me now so i gtg.

life has been good so far.

torn

2006-06-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

i never thought i wld blog abt this since i figured no one will ever understand. cos only i know the full story.

but it's just so difficult to handle your pain cos i can understand why u're feeling the way u're feeling. and i feel it, ever so clearly. many a times i wish i can undo the hurt i've done on you, i can ease ur pain by taking back those words. but in reality, this would only cause more pain.

people seem to think that i have the easy part to play. but the truth is i seriously doubt so. i know its goddamn difficult on you to deal with your agony and sorrows. cos u never see this coming and i agree its f*cking unfair to u.

but it's not tt easy too when u have to handle both sides of the story, urs and mine. yours, which u and i fully understand and mine, which only i can identify with.

and when i have to hide all that im feeling.

directed.

2006-06-25T05:48:00.000+08:00

for the past wk, i've been wondering what the hell am i going to do for the next month and a half before my attachment starts and for the month after my attachment ends. then it struck me. i cant believe it man. it has always been my desire and it didnt cross my mind for the past wk??

well, im gonna be a volunteer! just like chris, except tt i'll not get paid.

just completed and sent out this mega-long form with endless essay questions to TOUCH Community service. hopefully they'll give me smth to do. tmr i'll continue sending forms out and i really hope to start doing smth useful soon, very very soon.

oh then i came across this Graduate Diploma in Social Work offered by NUS. kinda interested in it. but wait till i complete my Graduate Diploma in Law huh.

hmm so excited. finally im not gonna just aimlessly bum around everyday. hooray!

blossomed

2006-06-23T02:47:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted to be 21, to be an official adult where i can make my own decisions without parental approval, where i can enter anywhere, watch any movie and do anything i want without worrying bout being underaged.

ppl ard me have always been lamenting to me bout how scary the thought of being an adult is. but i loved the thought of it. it's when i am officially adult, but a young adult. it's the time when i can have ultimate fun with the freedom to explore everything and anything and not worrying bout settling down, yet.

but then again, thinking about it in a different way, it can seem frightening. like last night when me, rena and huishi grooved away in phuture, i looked ard and felt old. scanning the guys ard us made me feel like an old hen trying to prey on young meat. i swear i felt so out of place. i bet 90% of the ppl ard us were younger than us (though we looked pretty young, erm right?). thats why i felt more comfortable in zouk. ok plus the crowd in phuture was crazy, as usual.

i love hiphop but i guess its time to learn to groove to retro. *sings out loud: "oh grease lightning, oh grease lightning"*

anyway i just wanna thank everyone for spending the wonderful 21st with me, esp dear rich who so willingly shelled out his hard-earned money on such an expensive gift. it is beautiful though. oh and my wonderful cousins who walked ard town for hours scouting gifts for me and the lovely watch and necklace they eventually chosen. and my older cousins as well as my relatives for the angpaos. and daphne and monica for the lovely necklace too (must have also cost a bomb for the 2 of u). and thank you jon for the very adorable fcuk bag and lun for the gift and treat that he promised (heh). and gerald for his gift that i have yet not collected from. and my babes for forking out time with me since im back. and my sisters for the exquisite pearl earrings. and of cos, my parents for the gorgeous necklace.

its been a fabulous celebration, even though the MOS thingy was cancelled last min. sorry peeps.

oh one more thing - i got my results! as some of you have already known, i did much much better than i expected and i still cant believe those are my results. maybe cos i seriously expected the worst. this morning i came online agn to double-confirm my results in case i was just dreaming bout last night. and yes, its a dream come true. yipppieeeeeeee!

tmr will be more partying and even more partying on sat. well whoever wants to party just gimme a holler. cos i'll always be ready to go. ooo-la-laa

living in manhattan

2006-06-12T02:53:00.000+08:00

these days i've been cooped up in my room in the nights watching sex and the city. dear daphne darling lent me 4 seasons of the sexed up show and got me addicted to it.

i've been staying in my room, stuck on my bed watching episode after episode, till they had to come banging on my door and literally dragged me out of my room to play mahjong in my kitchen. duh. they just refused to let me do wat i want! heh. but then again, i've been going out for dinner, going for expensive rides in cabs just to feel the leicester wind, and going on shopping trips with them. so im not really all that cooped up.

just that when im in my room, im literally out of touch with the world outside manhattan. oh well my bloody barely-a-year-old laptop just crashed u see so i've no internet to log onto. i cant blog, cant surf, cant play online games or chat on msn, so what else can i do? very kind jon lent me his laptop but i still cant go on the net. so i figured the only way out is to get in touch with manhattan everytime im in my room. at least i dont feel so isolated.

ok fine they r all excuses. just lemme watch the freaking dvds!

right now, im typing on my neighbour's lappie and i better surf all i can before she gets back.

oh did i mention exams r over? like since wednesday. not exactly jumping for joy cos i know i kinda screwed them all up. and im so positively sure that im so not gonna cry over my rotten grades cos im so expecting them.

ok enough of those sick papers. seriously, law exams are the worst exams i've sat in my entire life. they are so goddamn stressful i actually literally trembled throughout the 3hrs of almost every paper. every second in any law exam is like worth a million. and honestly, i've not stopped writing before the 3 hours is up for every bloody paper. in fact, i think i need at least 6hrs for each. if u want time to fly by, just go sit for any law paper. the 3 hrs felt like 3 freaking mins till i feel the pain and see my red swollen fingers then i can believe that i've actually written nonstop for 180 mins. ok did i say enough of those sick papers?

now to the MOS bday thingy. dear rich has booked a private room in MOS for my 21st on 22nd June. im now contemplating if i should go ahead with it. though i've passed the news to a number of ppl, i've been thinking about it and well, im thinking maybe i dont really wanna go so public on my 21st. though im quite an attention-seeker at times (yes i know i am), i just detest the thought of being the queen of the night with people noticing every single detail about you. how you talk, dress, walk, dance, react to their gifts and well, how you react to a-l-c-o-h-o-l. seriously, ive not really been drinking since the night someone actually asked if i needed an ambulance. and the thought of alcohol still freaks me, not to mention the taste of it.

and god, when i tink of the feeling of being drunk... i dont even wanna think about it.

so well, im still considering if the MOS party is still on. i'll have to confirm it with baby tmr.

other than that, life's been pretty ok so far. going down to london on wednesday, hopefully pop by harrods, indulge in the famous four season's roast duck and erm.. do more shopping, before i leave for singapore from there on friday.

perhaps till then, i wont be blogging anymore. so the next time u hear from me, u'll probably see me too.

tata.

HELP!

2006-05-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

anybody knows how to solve a notebook's hard disk problem?
or anybody knows anybody who knows?

my notebook just went berserk out of a sudden ytd night.

when i tried to turn it out, there's only this black screen with the words:
"Hard Disk Boot Sector invalid. Press H or any other key for floppy disk"

No matter how many times I tried pressing H or a million other keys, the same message just kept reappearing.

My god, pls dont tell me my hard disk is gone.

My weeks of hard work are all in it. My next paper is in 2 days' time and i need all the study notes that i've prepared and saved in my notebook.

gosh i cant believe this is happening. Im so gonna die without the notes that i've prepared for so long. HELP!

is there any way i can save all my files in my notebook if the only way to save it is to reformat it?

HELP!!!!!!!!!

i dont wanna die...

cup noodles with caffeine pls.

2006-05-22T02:35:00.000+08:00

i need to stay awake. exams are like 4 days away and im still slping like 12 hrs a day, including both day and night. i cant stop falling aslp. wats wrong with me?

isnt it ironic tt i seem to suffer from insomnia on normal days but just cant seem to keep my eyes open when i need to study - badly.

tea doesnt work for me cos i still snore after 10 cups, coffee's out of the question cos i just cant appreciate the bitter aftertaste. maybe cup noodles with do the trick. since i dont mind eating tt everynight. but where can i find noodles with caffeine? i tink im going nuts.

ok i gtg prepare dinner now. gonna mug in the library afterwards. if only the library stays open till 6am or smth (its currently open till 2am but i'll only be there after 9pm due to the inevitable crowd) since im slping after 6am, after a hearty supper - every night.

bout two nights ago, i had homemade bak kut teh at 4am with jon (my bro) and weilun. a night after, we had homemade teochew porridge with all the possible canned food lun can find from his secret stash of sg food.

sometime ago, i made super-nutritious abalone porridge with abalone (duh), dried scallops, red dates, minced carrots and chinese mushrooms and some other herbs. cooked for like 5hrs, yummy.

tonight's menu includes salted veg with duck soup ('xian chai ya tang') which im gonna start preparing right after i post this post up.

and tmr we're gonna have some homemade sharksfin soup (sadly w/o sharksfin) and stir-fry veg with abalone. just right to prepare us for the ardous weeks ahead.

cant believe im still so enthu bout dinner and supper everynight when exams are barely 90hrs away.

but well, hungrygeri can never be satisfied with anything less than a sumptous meal.

oh on a different note, i think mercy-killing should be allowed, despite the difficult position courts and parliament will be in to come up with specific definitions and impose limitations. what do you think?

the sanctity of life doctrine states that every person's life is inviolate. true. but to avoid further pain and suffering for the patient and his/her family when the patient has got zero chance of recovery, and to allow him/her to die in a peaceful and dignified manner are fundamental. then again, it's almost impossible to draw the line. ok wait im drifting.

tata.

study study study

2006-05-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

whats so funny
in a nerdie's world.

ok exam stress getting to me.

1st time in my life i started studying like erm one month before exams?

and i cant believe im actually running short of time! i hv to refer to like 5 books per module. plus its only my 1st uni year. gosh. and i thought i hv a hell lot of time.

why cant the pages seem to end? when will this ever end?

ok back to the books.

i am a nerd.

2006-05-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

just a quick update before i rush back to my essay which is due tmr morning.

gosh its 2 weeks before exams and i have still a f*cking great deal to study! how am i ever going to swallow the millions of cases? its freaking unfair that NUS law students have open-book exams while we overseas law students gotta memorise all these shit. and they just need a second-lower (50-60) honours to be able to enter the practising industry while we gotta struggle for no lower than a second-upper (60 -70) or our certs will be as useful as the roll of toilet paper hanging in my bathroom now.

anyway, rich's mum has been admitted to the hospital a few days back due to sudden fits-like symptoms. apparently one night, she just started shivering out of the blue and her face went green. she looked so fragile and helpless that rich called for an ambulance. and her fever shot up to 40degrees.

while recuperating in hospital, the same symptoms suddenly came back to haunt her. and all the doc could do was to give her 2 panadols cos they were not so sure what caused the sudden attacks yet. but the most probable cause of it should be an urine infection in her body due to her body's inability to expel urine on its own.

this is not the 1st time it has happened but this time, it was worse than before. given her current condition, its not easy at all to endure another 'attack'. her courage is admirable and i can only hope and pray for her wellness.

due to this, my baby hasnt had much rest for the past week. he's been shuffling between work and the hospital. my poor boy. i wish he could get more rest or im afraid he would fall ill again. its been so long since i last saw him. feeling nolstalgic just thinking bout the times we've had. baby, pls take good care of urself k. im sorry i cant be there with you but i always here for you. i love you.

on a slightly more cheery note, i've secured an attachment with Allen & Gledhill this coming August. oh well, give me a little more motivation to do well in law. moreover, rich's lawyer has not been giving them an easy time. all i can do is to wait impatiently for my return so i can accompany my guy to visit the inefficient lawyer and give him a hard time. some of the info that he's been giving my baby is so wrong. damn. i might even persuade rich's family to switch lawyers if he's still not making any progress by then. it's a waste of time and money - the two most impt considerations for my baby's family.

i just cant stand some lawyers. freaking money-driven. then again, which industry is not?

alright back to work. till then.

bored.

2006-04-29T00:49:00.000+08:00

yes it's the time of the year again - exams.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i think im screwing up my life, in a million and one ways. though i do sillier things in SG and have crazier friends (*wink), i believe im much more sane in my homeland. much much more.

here in uk, i do the stupidest things, like losing my personality.

and i dont think i can ever find myself back again, maybe not until i leave this place. then, it will be too late.

anyway there are lots of speculation, gossiping, assumption going on everywhere around me. many a times, i feel that ppl are giving me weird looks, talking behind my back. someone even told one of my closer friends to beware of me.

and i know the main source of these gossips. someone i cant wait to strangle, torture, and throw to a pack of wolves. but not till i confirm my suspicions. right now, i'll still carry on with a smile and "hi, hows your day" every time i see him. he did it before and now he's doing it again. unbelievable.

yes, we are all guilty of starting or spreading rumours around, but some words are just deadly. people spend much energy listening, thinking, assuming, spreading, so why cant they just spare a minute to confirm the facts?

"what you dont see with your eyes, dont witness with your mouth"

i have a million and one explanations for some of my actions but there are things that i have to keep private. there are things that are personal and i dont want people to know, then sympathise and look at me in a different way. so i chose to ignore the stares and the ridiculous assumptions. but i guess things have gone too far. people are starting to recreate history and accusing me of things i've never done. and the sad thing is they do not have the guts to question me or verify the truth with me. they accuse me behind their backs.

well i guess thats how the world works. im not the only one going thru this, i've also heard 101 things about 101 others. but this time, im not just gonna sit back and swallow whatever's thrown at me, behind my back. this time, im gonna kill you.

ok maybe its the exam stress thats getting to me and this probably sounds like a maniac typing away senselessly. but i guess im the only one who understands.

or maybe i dont.

back to reality.

2006-04-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

it's been a sweet 9days of adventure, laughters, anxiety, and instant noodles.

switzerland is beautiful and the company was amazing.

supposed to stay in Interlaken for 5D4N and then head down to Bern or Zurich for 3D2N before finally returning to Geneva for another 3D2N. ended up staying in InterLaken for 7D6N before heading to Geneva straight.

but im not complaining. InterLaken was fun. we went paragliding (jumping down from a high mountain with a pilot and a parachute of cos), skiing, spa-ing, gambling, clubbing and driving (in 2 noisy, diesel-powered mini-sportscars). drove up the mountains (well, not very high up though cos the roads got steeper) but we passed by this place for caravans and it was nice.

we took turns to drive. and when i was sitting beside mon as she drove, we had a mini conversation.

mon: actually it's been two years since i last drove.
me: wow thats long. have u ever driven alone?
mon: nope
me: so the last time u drove, u were with your mum? dad? or both?
mon: erm with my indonesian driving instructor. and i only had 10 lessons with him before i got
my licence.
me: *heart stops*

i couldnt take my eyes off the road after that. and the rest of the journey i was almost dead quiet, other than the occasional 'oh my god mon, be careful'.

pek was driving w/o licence. but at least safer than mon. but of cos, i was the safest, as usual.

paragliding was fun too. we took a bus up the mountains, practically crawled through some super slippery muddy, steep ground before arriving at our takeoff area. imagine running and jumping off a steep mountain before being carried up into the clouds (ok maybe not so high) by the mega-chute. took a couple of photos with some special camera while trying to take in the beautiful scenery and struggling to learn to steer the paraglider all at once.

skiing was damn tiring. and painful. but i still had one hell of an amazing time. its just a different experience watching 3 year-olds and 80 year-olds skiing past you like wind while we tumble and fall at every little bump and mini slope. honestly, we were the worst skiers there. then again, everyone was stunningly professional. we wonder why.

clubbing was hmm.. different in switz. guys approach guys while girls approach girls. but i doubt any was lesbian or gay. its just in their culture perhaps. i got approached by two girls and chatted with them abit. another girl came up to mon and me and asked if she could dance with us. while dancing, she asked us to look over to one end of a table where her fiance was standing, staring at us. hmm. but she was nice and pretty. anyway a photographer came over and took two pics of us, both on clubbingstar.com. at least we have some memories.

last 3 days in geneva was not exactly my cup of tea. didnt do much other than souvenir-shopping. and i only managed to get a little drinking mug for myself cos we sorta spent almost everything in InterLaken. and transport and lodging expenses in Switz were rocket-high.

throughout the trip, we stayed in hostels, not hotels. and thankfully, the hostels have common kitchens. so we were practically having instant noodles, fried crochets and eggs for almost every meal cos food is not exactly cheap over there too.

but all in all, it's definitely a good experience going on a budget trip with close friends. a lovely holiday indeed.

photos will be slightly overdued.

alright till then.

sweet switz.

2006-03-27T01:31:00.000+08:00

ok as some of u may alrdy know, there's a change of plans.

this easter, i'll be heading down to switz instead of italy. cos of my dear double trouble twin monica who cant get her visa. but its all cool.

we'll be stopping at interlaken first for 5D4N and then... 2 days of erm... undecided adventure. guess we'll leave the 2 days unplanned till we arrive in switz and see where the wind blows us. our last destination will be geneva -3D2N. tts where we'll head back to leicester from.

interlaken - where the extreme sports are. but most of the more exciting ones are only available in summer (1st may onwards), like canyoning! sigh. however, i'll be going for hang-gliding and some others. heh heh. anyway we'll be staying in this hostel called Backpackers Villa (www.villa.ch). one of the more expensive but cleaner hostels.

geneva - not sure what to do or see there yet. but we'll be staying at City Hostels (www.cityhostel.ch/English).

joining me on this adventure will be dear monica and jonathan. hopefully we'll have a blast of a time. im sure we would. when was it boring with me ard? hiak hiak. we are also thinking of renting a car on one of the days and drive around to some unexplored areas. for that i mean places where not many tourists hang around. like the peaceful farms on the mountains and interact with the locals there. sounds good? but of cos.

but 1st, we gotta learn their languages. double sigh. im in charge of french, mon will be struggling with german and jonathan italian. heh at least i took french before. basic french. je suis jolie (i am pretty). ok choy pls dont correct my french.

aside from the trip, everything else is still alright. im coping well, i guess. running for this yr's singapore society's vice president cos gerald kng is running for president so i dont mind working with him.

ok tts it for now i guess. till then peeps. ;)

V for Vendetta.

2006-03-20T11:52:00.000+08:00

Absolutely brilliant.

Other than that, my life's been pretty much the same - messy. but im not sinking into depression though i can see it coming.

cheers.

i lost myself.

2006-03-11T02:56:00.000+08:00

oh well, many things are happening around me. and they are happening so fast im losing grip.

somewhere, somehow, i lost myself. and i cant seem to find it back again. whats my aim in life? wat do i wanna do? wat am i doing? where am i? how do i wanna live my life? am i really happy doing the things im doing now? am i supposed to be doing these things?

whats next?

maybe coming here wasnt such a gd idea. or maybe im in the process of learning the harsh lessons in life. i guess it'll all strike me when the process is over. maybe i'll look back in horror and learn to be a better person then. but right now, i believe im the worst girl on earth.

i've changed, so drastically i believe. and no way is it for the better. or maybe i was like tt all along but circumstances suppressed my true identity.

i dont wish to be who i am now. but who can i blame?

overdued photos.

2006-03-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

Singnight'05 in Manchester - Jan'06
my double-trouble twin Monica, Daphne & myself.

me and ah pek (pek's his last name).

3 girls with (fr left) chris, tingxi & weilun.

ravishing babes.

charming dudes (at least for once).

j.lim & me. ok i was gone by then.

LawBall'06 - feb'06

hk vincent & me.

korean mike with myself.

taiwanese kat & me.

me with msian jon.

k there are obviously more photos but i think this is more than enough ya. oh and there r photos of Old Trafford Stadium in Manchester but im really too lazy to upload them. gonna start rushing my 1,500-worded essay now. till then.

changes.

2006-02-26T09:42:00.000+08:00

its been quite awhile since i last updated my blog. i dont know where to start from. many things have happened and many more are happening. so many things have changed. i have changed. for better or worse? i seriously think its the latter.

oh well i shall not go into depth. some of the more eventful happenings are the lawball (pics coming soon), erm erm.. cant think of any now. oh ya revo night last thurs.

horrible.

i drank almost half a bottle of smirnoff vodka (yes the huge bottle), almost 2 bottles of white/red wine (the normal huge bottles) and 3 vodka shots. i got so drunk i was chased out of the club. heh. oh well here it's quite common to get chased out of clubs if the bouncers think u're gone. its just so comical come to think of it.

i've got drunk before but i've never felt so bad. the drunkness i experienced was so painful i even asked jon pek to throw me out of the window to end my 'suffering'. while outside the club, these 2 guys came up to me and asked if i needed an ambulance.

i was so drunk i cldnt slp the whole night. sounds contradicting? cos i was hurting so bad, everywhere. rched back ard 2am, fell aslp only aft 11am.

in the morning ard 8am, i felt soooooooo bad that i told jon pek i need to go hospital cos i suspect i was going through alcohol poisoning. luckily, aft some hot food, lemon and axe oil, i felt slightly better and managed to slp for 45mins before waking up to the worse hangover.

anyway jon pek sent me back from the club tt night and cooked porridge for me the next day. gerald bought me food for lunch, weilun offered me tea. and the monica and daph never failed to take care of me though they were pretty tipsy themselves. i just wanna thank them so much for not leaving me alone. :)

tt night, gerald got drunk too, so did chris and many others got so high. it wld have been so fun if i had not drunk tt much. crap.

oh did i mention tt i puked 6 times throughout the night?

gosh im swearing off alcohol from now on, for erm... at least 2 wks?

especially wine. they give u the worst hangover.

alright till then.

this easter.

2006-02-10T10:47:00.000+08:00

im not gonna be back. i'll be going italy with 5 other friends instead. honestly, u may say im silly but i seriously prefer going back home than travelling ard the world. but my parents prefer me to stay in uk and my uk friends have been persuading me to stay instead of spending unnecessary money flying home.

im gonna be stuck here for more than 5months. hmm though im slowly getting used to this place far away from home, still, nowhere can be more comfortable than my beloved home in yck.

oh well, at least i get to travel so i shld just stop complaining. alright now to a brief summary of my easter trip. we're travelling from 2nd april to 13th april.

currently, there are 2 plans.

1st: rome - venice - milan
2nd: rome - florence - venice

initially, we have decided on the 1st plan and i've searched thru all domestic budget airlines as well as for rail tickets. in total, 3 flights plus 1 train ride will add up to an estimate of 94pounds (S$282) inclusive of all taxes and surcharges. hmm tts cheap i know. its actually very affordable to travel within europe, esp by planes. btw, we'll be on a super-budget trip.

however, just a couple of hrs ago, they came over to my room to discuss for a few hrs and we might end up changing our trip to the 2nd option as milan is more of a shopping district. florence seems to be a more interesting and popular choice. we gotta decide and book everything by this weekend as monica needs time to do her visa. and she needs to show her hotel and airtic bookings before her visa can be approved. gonna be a crazy rush. oh well at least it forces us to plan everything fast.

i've been searching for budget hotels and hostels everywhere. italy's accommodation is one of the most expensive. in fact, we're focusing more on hostels with shared bathrooms.

anyway, after doing some research on venice, i realised it's indeed a very romantic place, ideal for couples. how i wish rich could be on this trip with me. it wld be the most beautiful holiday of my life. sigh. The most common transport in venice is the water-taxi as there are countless canals everywhere. how lovely it will be travelling in a boat with your beloved from one place to another. double sigh.

i havent said this for some time but i've never stopped feeling it. i miss him so much.

i miss my family, my friends and my steamboats. ;)

i miss home.

here they are

2006-02-06T03:15:00.000+08:00

these past few weeks after exams have been pretty happening. weekdays we'll be meeting up every night to gamble a little here and there with the guys and every weekend we were off to a different uk state. the first was birmingham, then nottingham and now i just got back from manchester.

ok here are some pics.

me, monica and jon in birmingham. ben's the photographer.

me and mon in nottingham. gerald's e photographer.

reunion dinner. xinyi, jieyao, me and mon.

feeding ernie.

sexy.

alright thats abt it for now. Too tired from the Manchester trip, esp since last night was Singapore Night 2005. Me, mon and daph shared a room for a night in Thistle Hotel where the ball was held. i got really high on wine cos the other girls at our table dont really drink and we had like 7-8 bottles of wine per table. i drank about 9 glasses? or perhaps more. oh and i won one case of 24 bottles of tiger beer during the lucky draw! hah! another fellow leicesterian, chris, won another case. so yea the leicester singaporeans are probably known as the drunkards now.

oh and the leicesterians form the largest troop in singnight. about 20plus of us went together whereas other schools have like 10 the max? the average per sch was only like 3-4. oh i saw joanne lim too, took a pic with her.

btw after singnight, we went up to our room to change and immediately took a cab down to one of their more popular clubs. queued for about half hr before we decided to go back to our hotel and play cards instead. and im e big loser. drank another 3 bottles of beer. played till dawn but i was still pretty sober.

anyway i'll upload the singnight pics soon. yes soon. tata

a different CNY.

2006-02-01T08:34:00.000+08:00

and its not that bad, really.

at least i've been hanging out with ppl in the same boat as me. feeling more attached to them now cos we only have each other to depend on, esp when it comes to building this festive spirit together.

the guys and monica and daph have been coming to my room almost every night for a few games of cards. i've learned games that i've never known before. d/led a couple of CNY songs and have been blasting them every night while the cards are being dealt. they really help to lift up our spirits in this cold brutal weather, and allow us to taste a little of home sweetness during this important festival. esp when we cant get hold of the cny goodies, the red packets and the getting-together with our relatives and close ones.

i've never known how to appreciate CNY songs more.

the CNY eve's dinner, the previous night's steamboat, the CNY dinner were all good. bought fortune cookies from nottingham for all fellow singaporeans in leicester. had a fun time boasting bout our own and laughing at each other's 'fortune'. these cheap thrills do matter, alot.

hmm took quite a few pics but as usual, im too lazy to upload them as yet. but soon ppl, very soon.

alright now its time to slp. tmr will be a long day of accessory-shopping, for this coming sat's UK-Singapore Night in Manchester. hope it'll be a blast.

laters.

best times of my life.

2006-01-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

it all started with this:

"Hope the classes aint boring u yet - gd afternoon n lovely day ahead!" - 17/09/04

and it went on:

" 'if the darkness seems 2 keep us apart, n if the daylight seems like a long way afar, n if yr glass heart were to crack, for a second you look back. oh no, be strong. walk on!' i just sang you the only song tt kept me going from the ... and the loneliness, to where i am now, a much better place. walk with me? *extends hand*" - 0611/4

almost losing it:

"ok. i understand tt you wanna walk away, and i will let you but i will stay where i am and watch u walk. because i cannot help but love who i love and this is my truest feeling. and for the 1st time, i dont wanna lie to myself. i gotta be true to my feelings. take care." - 071204

tragedy struck:

"i was at a loss of words when i saw my mum. my whole world came down on me. if it wasnt for you who was there for me unselfishly, i really dont know wat to do. i really wanna thank you and i just cant thank you enough. but i want you to focus on yrself too, for you are so dear to me. have a gd rest k. *hugz*" - 131204

finding the strength:

"i know u dont want this sms but still i rather take the risk tt u might beat me up tmr. i thank you for today and beyond. it is emotionally very tiring for but u always keep my spirits up, holding my hand as i walk on. thank you for showing me the way. nitez my queen ken." - 191204

the birth of the fairytale:

"such a lovely morning, esp the 1st thing i know is tt i have a girlfriend and that she loves me beyond any reason. i want you in my arms now. i want to kiss you now. i want to let the whole world know tt i love you now. haha im such a demanding bf. i miss u sweetheart." - 210105

the magic never dies:

"i kept most of the sms u sent, from when u 1st hardly recognise my existence, to the phase when u told me, 'u like me but cannot love me', to all the love u're giving me now. i honestly thought u'll never give me a chance at all, cos i thought.. wat can i actually give u to deserve yr hand? all i know is tt i was honest with my feelings and i just never wanna let go despite u thinking it wasnt possible. i love you geri and can never let go, be it from the start till ever." - 070405

its only possible with 617:

"bubu...? woah woah... ai wo? bu yao ma wo?" - 060905

the big step:

"i think abt u leaving for uk, i feel so sad. im alone on the bus now, listening to our love songs. its just so overwhelming." - 190905

but if its gonna change anything, its only gonna make this stronger:

"no matter how tough my life can get, knowing tt i have a permanent place in yr heart provides me with all the answers i ever need. i love u geri. happy 1st yr! i will work hard to provide a great future for the both of us." -200105

i think about the days in phut and gab's place with gab and shi. think about mitre. our silly moments and the carefree days. then came the hospital trips. day and night, our usual meeting place will be at the different hospitals. our usual 'dates' involve consoling your mum and dad, consulting docs, arguing with nurses, eating at nearby coffeeshops and foodcourts, going thru physio with ur mum, wiping tears, talking to visiting relatives and friends, cleaning up ur mum, feeding her and making sure her head can touch the bell before we bid our nightly gdbyes. then thankfully ur mum's hme and then we started doing wat most couples do. yet everyday still feels so special with u. and i love them all.

i wana particularly mention the hospital trips. they are so memorable. maybe cos i've never had 'dates' like those. and it never fails to fascinate me how much im looking forward to each 'date'. i didnt care about the movies, shopping was unnecessary, my appetite for steamboats disappeared. in fact i love talking to the patients, covering the neighbouring patient with a blanket, setting up xmas tree for them, staring sternly at the naughty kids who loved to destroy our tree, doing up a mega new year card for ur mum & counting down with her in whispers in the middle of the night. we do the same things almost everyday yet everyday was so fulfilling.

once again ur mum's going to the hospital in april. once again we'll hv to go thru tt when im back for easter. but i assure u tt i wont complain a single bit. u know i wont. cos i know these trips are gonna bring your family much closer to the miracle we've all been praying for the past year.

rich, this is my message to you:

"till death do us part."

617 turns 1.

2006-01-20T08:25:00.000+08:00

Happy anniversary to the one i love so dear.

xiaotou, "all i want is You".

the time is now.

2006-01-18T02:39:00.000+08:00

thanks gorilla and choy for those encouraging words. choy, so wat r u waiting for? learn from the ever-so-disciplined me and get down to some work! and gorilla, awww.. u finally admit it. i knew it. fun can only be possible with me ard. tsk tsk.

hmm exams started today. so i can inevitable feel the stronger presence of the dreaded exam blues. the next and last paper (thankfully) is so gonna inflict immense pain on me, if not kill me. in fact it already is 3/4 thru the process.

i hate essays. and im supposed to write 3 argumentative essays (approx. 700words each) w/in 2.5hrs. how is that possible? plus i've to memorise the quotes from all those 'academics' who seriously, have nothing better to do than to talk so much about one stupid subject. i think they are sadists. they love to torture students. i hope to meet one of these fiendish academics one day and see if they befit the Frankenstein images in my head.

on the way back from the 1st paper, tried to get a kebab meal from the kebab van just below where i live. and it was closed! pissed off. it shld hv been opened since 2 hrs ago. gonna try again later.

havent had enough slp for the whole day and still gotta study for my next paper right after dinner. my head's spinning and i can feel my blood pressure shooting up. any more of this and i surrender.

ok i better stop complaining. not like any of u havent been thru exams right. oh one consolation - today's mcq paper was easy. why? cos my lecturer posted up a past mcq paper on Blackboard and i was discussing the answers (which were not provided) with my fellow sg lawmates till 2am last night. and guess what? today's paper was identical. yes it was an exact carbon copy of the one we did. how more creative can they get?

but im not complaining. heh.

anyway was pretty rude to rich on the phone today before my exams cos i was so stressed up. uh oh. sorry baby. better call him up and do some sayang-ing. keke.

laters.

claustrophobic

2006-01-16T00:06:00.000+08:00

imagine cooping yourself in an enclosed room, with no tv or playstation or whatever. just you, a toilet, a bed, a table, books and a laptop, 24/7. i mean it. not being able to step out at all. AT ALL. no you can't even walk out for a wheeze of fresh air. seriously, just picture it.

tts how i've been surviving these days. if this continues any longer, i gotta see a psychiatrist soon. and im so not kidding. this is worse than prison.

Jesus, Goddess of Mercy, Allah, someone, anyone - please give me the strength to carry on.

i miss you.

2006-01-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

wishing you were here.

what a life.

2006-01-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

woke up at 8am this morning. spent an hour cooking porridge, boiling cabbage and chinese mushrooms and eating my very healthy (synonym: pathetic) meal.

then its all about hitting the books. skyped with rich for about an hr, meanwhile exploring the functions of the program. and then its...

all about hitting the books again. yea what a life.

time seems to pass so slowly today. honestly, i can concentrate much better on my books here, but at the same time, i feel much emptier - like there's nothing to look forward to. everyone's studying, everyone's so grim and serious, everyone's having no life. gosh i need smth to look forward to, i need a purpose in this miserable life, at least for now.

oh well tts why i msged daph and monica to go nando's (this restaurant tt serves great bbq chicken) tonight for dinner. yay im going out! cheap thrill, i know. but better than nothing. i feel so suffocated spending the entire day in this room.

so now im gonna vacuum my whole room, tidy everything and its... back to hit the books, again.

when will this end?

and so here i am.

2006-01-13T02:19:00.000+08:00

just called rich bout an hr ago. gosh i miss my xiaotou so much.

anyway i left the warmth of my home on wed ard 10.30am and arrived here in my hostel room ard 7.30am (sg time) on cold thurs morning.

so tt took me 21hrs in total. not too bad considering it cld have taken much longer if we were not lucky enough to get the bus almost immediately (an hr later actually) after our flight's arrival in heathrow airport.

one of my friends had to wait 6hrs for the bus in the riotous and rundown airport the night before my arrival. phew.

ok so im here, far away from my favourite food, my lovely family, my great bunch of friends and my beloved baby, yet again. if i have one wish now, i only wish to be back in sg for 2 more weeks, at least till i get to spend the 1st few days of cny in sg.

many of my seniors are skipping the 1st week of sch to spend cny in sg. if only i dont have exams next wk, i wld have so gladly done that too. so now my next wish is for the following yr's cny to be in jan again, as early as possible. anyone knows when will it be?

this is the 1st yr im gonna spend cny away from home, with no sch holidays (!!), no cny goodies, no lavish dinners (i will miss sharksfin and abalone), no angbaos, no new pretty clothes or shoes, no 'gongxi gongxi', no cny songs (in fact i really do love the festive songs) and no firecrackers ((i dont mind fake ones too, i really dont).

instead i'll have lectures, homework, essays, snow, frostbites, strong winds, empty room (messy actually), old winter jackets and instant noodles. sounds fun doesnt it?

how much more depressing can it be?

went out to city today to stack up on my collection of instant noodles, cup noodles, frozen chicken pies and rice (to cook porridge) in preparation for the coming idiotic exams. and all these while u ppl back home shld be going to city to find brand new clothes, shoes and accessories.

ok enough of complaining. im gonna nap and back to hit the goddamn books. btw my uk mobile no. has been changed to +44 07767626593 if anybody is curious.

i miss all of you.

P.S: when i was halfway thru my marketing in city abt 3hrs ago, i received a msg from sg. it read, "hey babe what time are you leaving tmr? heh." huishi darling, i left more than 40hrs ago. thanks for asking though. :)

rich.

2006-01-10T01:56:00.000+08:00

just had the most amazing time of my life the past few days with rich. though we did quarrel, a big one too, we made up in no time, feeling stronger for each other than ever before.

just had the sweetest conversation with him too.

im gonna miss him so damn much. urgh why do i have to leave?

sometimes i make the stupidest decisions.

and more photos.

2006-01-07T04:21:00.000+08:00

on the way to phut. -4th Jan 05

in my car-turned-bar at cine's carpark. blasting music, drinking wine, vodka and beer.

the backups.

the main celebrities. ;)

oh "girls just wanna have fun."

more photos.

2006-01-07T04:11:00.000+08:00

xmas 2005 at my place...

the homemade (well mostly) feast.

taken by the oh-so-professional photographer, rich. who else?

taken by rich, again.

rich, yes, AGAIN. but i like. ;)

5am.

photos.

2006-01-07T03:49:00.000+08:00

yay finally i got down to uploading photos taken since i left uk. some are long overdued. oh well u know me. heh. alright here they are:

this is one photo i took with monica and daph the night before i left. they were such great friends who helped me a hell lot, really.

pictures of my baby hosting the one-wk long xmas event outside ngee ann city (hmm he hosted for one day):

one of the performances.

rich baby acting cute yet looking gd.